Conscious Conviction
“Before Nelson Mandela was arrested in 1962, he was an angry, relatively young man. He founded the ANC's military wing. When he was released, he surprised everyone because he was talking about reconciliation and forgiveness and not about revenge.” - Desmond Tutu
Any victim of abuse knows the weight of powerlessness They know what it is like to swallow a bitter pill. One’s faith in reality is crushed in an instant. In some cases, one is reminded day in and day out. Knowing the severity of such crimes, society has set in place preventative measures through the legal system. These laws are supposedly derived from the inborn empathy of healthy individuals. However, the main purpose of such laws is simply to keep society functioning smoothly, not with the goal of following a god-given set of principles. This is where religion and law come to diverge.
Many of the world’s major religions share a similar framework of morality based on merit and sin. Although it may be comforting to be protected by such laws, to believe in a set of higher principles, they only go to hold our collective consciousness back in the long run. Many non-religious spiritual traditions have known that rigid moral principles often lead to division and conflict.
Now, it’s all too easy to point out how society is becoming overly judgemental. Anyone with good intentions will go out and try to amend such problems. We stand for the victims of such crimes.
What do we do when we are the victim?
Dehumanization then becomes all too appealing, a panacea to ease our pain. For sexual abuse, communities may resort to victim blaming by criticizing the clothes that were worn, the time in which the victim went out at night, and so forth. These communities may sentence serial killers and rapists to death row. Yes, society has to make sure that it keeps on functioning. Whether this is a fair price to pay is up for debate. Based on our current legal system, such feelings would be perfectly justified. Any belief to the contrary would be dismissed as heartless.
This proposes an ultimatum between justice and forgiveness. In choosing one or the other, we create within ourselves a conflict heavier than the one in the courtroom.
Suppose the person having violated your emotional security gets to endure the same pain by rotting away in a jail cell. Some say that solitary confinement is a greater hell than death row. What feelings will come to surface? We may be grateful for the law. We may revel in having this person’s fate beneath our will. Even then, the pleasure to be derived from this vindictiveness will be fleeting. Not only will our inner wounds not be healed; the negative coverage will only spread this hatred upon others. This interplay between our own turmoil and the media is something that goes completely under the radar. Yet, this awareness is one crucial step towards not letting this suffering be the whole of our lives.
So would it be possible to somehow transmute this suffering? What would that look like?
The answer is to establish honest, open communication about this pain with the very people you have identified as evil. Now, this does sound like a lot to ask for, but exposing one’s wounds to the very people who had caused them will take away their psychological grip. The dissipation of all power dynamics and personal agendas is what allows whole communities to rise in consciousness. It allows them to go beyond unconsciously labeling individuals as irredeemable. By sharing one’s emotional scars, they too will come to know that a higher level of consciousness is possible. Then, the wrongdoers themselves will see the damage caused by their dehumanization and undergo the same change that we ourselves must lead.
A more just society is achieved on the consciousness of both victims and the convicted.
Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyPoqFcvt9w&t=1s
Any victim of abuse knows the weight of powerlessness They know what it is like to swallow a bitter pill. One’s faith in reality is crushed in an instant. In some cases, one is reminded day in and day out. Knowing the severity of such crimes, society has set in place preventative measures through the legal system. These laws are supposedly derived from the inborn empathy of healthy individuals. However, the main purpose of such laws is simply to keep society functioning smoothly, not with the goal of following a god-given set of principles. This is where religion and law come to diverge.
Many of the world’s major religions share a similar framework of morality based on merit and sin. Although it may be comforting to be protected by such laws, to believe in a set of higher principles, they only go to hold our collective consciousness back in the long run. Many non-religious spiritual traditions have known that rigid moral principles often lead to division and conflict.
Now, it’s all too easy to point out how society is becoming overly judgemental. Anyone with good intentions will go out and try to amend such problems. We stand for the victims of such crimes.
What do we do when we are the victim?
Dehumanization then becomes all too appealing, a panacea to ease our pain. For sexual abuse, communities may resort to victim blaming by criticizing the clothes that were worn, the time in which the victim went out at night, and so forth. These communities may sentence serial killers and rapists to death row. Yes, society has to make sure that it keeps on functioning. Whether this is a fair price to pay is up for debate. Based on our current legal system, such feelings would be perfectly justified. Any belief to the contrary would be dismissed as heartless.
This proposes an ultimatum between justice and forgiveness. In choosing one or the other, we create within ourselves a conflict heavier than the one in the courtroom.
Suppose the person having violated your emotional security gets to endure the same pain by rotting away in a jail cell. Some say that solitary confinement is a greater hell than death row. What feelings will come to surface? We may be grateful for the law. We may revel in having this person’s fate beneath our will. Even then, the pleasure to be derived from this vindictiveness will be fleeting. Not only will our inner wounds not be healed; the negative coverage will only spread this hatred upon others. This interplay between our own turmoil and the media is something that goes completely under the radar. Yet, this awareness is one crucial step towards not letting this suffering be the whole of our lives.
So would it be possible to somehow transmute this suffering? What would that look like?
The answer is to establish honest, open communication about this pain with the very people you have identified as evil. Now, this does sound like a lot to ask for, but exposing one’s wounds to the very people who had caused them will take away their psychological grip. The dissipation of all power dynamics and personal agendas is what allows whole communities to rise in consciousness. It allows them to go beyond unconsciously labeling individuals as irredeemable. By sharing one’s emotional scars, they too will come to know that a higher level of consciousness is possible. Then, the wrongdoers themselves will see the damage caused by their dehumanization and undergo the same change that we ourselves must lead.
Communication for Transcendence
- Be open about the reasons why each of you chose to dehumanize each other in different ways. Why did the perpetrator decide to see you as a victim? Are you using the legal system as a way to bypass the individuality of the perpetrator?
- Make sure to convey the after effects of the abuse on your own psyche. The perpetrator must understand the full extent of your psychological breakdown in the days after the incident.
- Express with conviction that the legal system is not a true measure of justice for any of you involved. Understand how the media is designed to further incite such deviant behavior.
A more just society is achieved on the consciousness of both victims and the convicted.
Our story of rape and reconciliation | Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyPoqFcvt9w&t=1s
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